1
00:00:00,517 --> 00:00:04,659
[Instrumental Music]

2
00:00:04,694 --> 00:00:06,489
[Footsteps]

3
00:00:06,523 --> 00:00:08,663
Oh I cannot believe it!

4
00:00:08,698 --> 00:00:12,219
Look at my baby! Going off to
college.

5
00:00:12,253 --> 00:00:14,669
Oh it seems like only yesterday
you were just a baby!

6
00:00:14,704 --> 00:00:16,844
Just, be a baby again.

7
00:00:17,224 --> 00:00:19,260
- Be a baby again.
- Mom!

8
00:00:19,295 --> 00:00:20,641
[Whining] Be a baby again.
- Mom!

9
00:00:20,675 --> 00:00:24,472
Lisa, Lisa, let the boy go. He's
a man now.

10
00:00:24,507 --> 00:00:26,681
I'm sorry. I just got a little
carried away.

11
00:00:26,716 --> 00:00:29,236
That's what women do. Y'all get
emotional during these times.

12
00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:32,756
That's why it's up to the man to
stay calm, cool and collected.

13
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Son, when you get to college,

14
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Always remember [voice cracks]

15
00:00:36,795 --> 00:00:38,831
[Clears throat]
[Audience laughter]

16
00:00:38,866 --> 00:00:41,869
Just keep in mind [voice rising]
Ah hah. Mm.

17
00:00:42,111 --> 00:00:44,389
Can't you just be 4 again? Be 4
again!

18
00:00:44,423 --> 00:00:46,011
Remember how I used to give you
piggyback rides?

19
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,909
Hop on my back. Let me give you
a piggyback ride for old time's
sake.

20
00:00:47,944 --> 00:00:49,221
- Come on.
- Dad, dad, stop.

21
00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:51,016
Okay, just hop on my shoulders.
Let me carry you around a bit.

22
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,570
Dad, I don't want you to crack a
vertebrae.

23
00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:55,089
[Audience laughter]

24
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:58,058
Look at you using all those big
words. Sounding all collegiate.

25
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- Baby, I can't, I can't.
- Devin, I just wanted to let
you know that

26
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:03,235
that I'm gonna miss you and blah
blah blah.

27
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Let's cut to the chase. Mom and
dad, what' happening with
Devin's room?

28
00:01:06,135 --> 00:01:07,515
[Audience laughter]

29
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:10,035
I was actually thinking about
turning it into a walk-in
closet.

30
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,693
No, no, no, no. Daddy is
claiming that for his own
personal gym.

31
00:01:12,727 --> 00:01:14,315
Tony please, you already have
the man cave.

32
00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:15,868
How many rooms do you really
need?

33
00:01:15,903 --> 00:01:17,525
Lisa, I'm trying to get in
shape.

34
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- You already shaped...like an
avocado.
- Up.

35
00:01:20,528 --> 00:01:22,530
You weren't complainin' about
that guacamole though, were you?

36
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[Chuckling] Hello, I called his
room first.

37
00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:26,224
No, no, no, now look. It's a
gym,

38
00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:27,259
and that's final, alright?

39
00:01:27,294 --> 00:01:29,019
[Overlapping bickering]
- Hey, hey.

40
00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:30,849
Hey!

41
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,093
I'm still here for a
couple of days.

42
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:36,026
Can't y'all wait till my bed is
cold till y'all start fightin'
over it.

43
00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:37,373
[Laughter]
We better.

44
00:01:37,407 --> 00:01:39,823
Hey, I think I should get
Devin's room.

45
00:01:39,858 --> 00:01:42,309
Lonnie, can you please use the
front door when you come in?

46
00:01:42,343 --> 00:01:44,345
Why would I use the front door
when I could just hop the fence

47
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:45,829
and come through the back?

48
00:01:45,864 --> 00:01:48,349
This is exactly why I need to
live here, okay? I need Devin's
room.

49
00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:50,213
Do you realize how much time I
could save by going

50
00:01:50,248 --> 00:01:53,216
to and from the Stallworth
refrigerator if I just lived
here?

51
00:01:53,251 --> 00:01:56,046
You know how much time and money
I would save if you just didn't
live?

52
00:01:56,081 --> 00:01:57,255
Donnie hell, no.

53
00:01:57,289 --> 00:01:59,705
Come on, son. I could be like
the son you never had.

54
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:00,603
[Theme Music]

55
00:02:00,637 --> 00:02:02,605
♪ Woke up and my wife
said to me ♪

56
00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:04,917
♪ The bill collector's want
their fees ♪

57
00:02:04,952 --> 00:02:07,161
♪ Kids keep talkin'
back to me ♪

58
00:02:07,196 --> 00:02:08,887
♪ Family Time

59
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:12,304
[Chorus]
♪ Family Time. Family
Time. Family Time ♪

60
00:02:12,339 --> 00:02:14,513
♪ Oah ho ho hoa yeah

61
00:02:14,824 --> 00:02:17,171
[Instrumental Music]

62
00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:19,725
Thanks for helping me out with
debate club, Aunt Vivian.

63
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,660
Aw of course. When I was your
age, I was debate club
president,

64
00:02:23,695 --> 00:02:26,732
spelling bee champion, oh and
the only white girl in an

65
00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:27,940
all-black high school.

66
00:02:27,975 --> 00:02:29,252
[Audience laughter]

67
00:02:29,287 --> 00:02:31,634
What's up, family? Just grabbin'
a mid-day snack.

68
00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:32,635
What y'all talkin' about anyway?

69
00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:34,568
Oh I'm helping Ebony with her
debate club.

70
00:02:34,602 --> 00:02:36,363
Aw nice. Don't let me
interrupt y'all.

71
00:02:36,397 --> 00:02:40,056
When it comes to debate, you got
to remember the three P's.

72
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Preparation, poise and
presentation.

73
00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:44,578
And you got to know your facts.

74
00:02:44,612 --> 00:02:46,166
And you got to work on your
breathing

75
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,443
and your body language.

76
00:02:47,477 --> 00:02:50,860
And lay out your argument simply
and cohesively.

77
00:02:50,894 --> 00:02:53,138
Okay, let me interrupt. Ebony,

78
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,035
you don't need to know the

79
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:56,314
5 P's or 3 D's or none of
that bull.

80
00:02:56,348 --> 00:02:57,901
Okay, what you need to focus on

81
00:02:57,936 --> 00:02:59,593
is seeing your opponent as
the enemy!

82
00:02:59,627 --> 00:03:01,422
Alright? And be willing to do

83
00:03:01,457 --> 00:03:02,561
or say whatever it takes

84
00:03:02,596 --> 00:03:04,045
to destroy 'em! Alright?

85
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,048
Whether that be making up lies,
talkin' about their mama,
anything.

86
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:09,465
Donnie, that's not how you win a
high school debate.

87
00:03:09,499 --> 00:03:10,362
No?

88
00:03:10,397 --> 00:03:11,846
No.

89
00:03:11,881 --> 00:03:15,747
Tell you what, why don't you
debate me on anything, and I
will win.

90
00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:16,955
Alright.

91
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:20,959
How about, ooh whether or not
the earth is flat.

92
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:24,065
Perfect. I have no opinion on
the matter so I tell you what,

93
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,619
I'll argue either side.

94
00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:27,966
Hm. I'll take the side that the
earth is round.

95
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,003
- Perfect. Ebony, you be the
judge.
- Okay.

96
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:33,558
Alright, I'll start.
[Clears throat] Um,

97
00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:36,940
It's obvious to everyone
especially the scientific
community,

98
00:03:36,975 --> 00:03:37,872
that the earth is round.

99
00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:38,908
Your mama's round.

100
00:03:38,942 --> 00:03:39,943
[Audience laughter]

101
00:03:39,978 --> 00:03:41,773
Donnie, don't interrupt my
opening statement.

102
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:44,051
Your mama interrupted your
opening statement.

103
00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:45,432
That doesn't make any sense.

104
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[Whispering] Your mama don't
make sense.

105
00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:47,951
- Ay.
[Laughter]

106
00:03:47,986 --> 00:03:49,021
I'm killin' it!

107
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:51,576
[Sighs] Ah well, when you see a
ship

108
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,785
coming from the distance, it
doesn't just appear.

109
00:03:53,819 --> 00:03:56,512
It appears as if the ship is
coming out of the water

110
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:59,031
and that is because of the
curvature of the earth.

111
00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:02,000
Objection. I think we should
talk about

112
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,968
your mother's curvature and how
it's weighing the earth down.

113
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:06,694
- Case closed!
[Laughter]

114
00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:09,007
Okay, fine Donnie. So you can
make mama jokes,

115
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:12,010
but you haven't made a singular
argument as to why the earth is
flat.

116
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:15,703
And you don't close an argument
with case closed. You say,

117
00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:16,670
resolved.

118
00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:19,051
Resolved, dissolved,
Ebony, who won?

119
00:04:19,086 --> 00:04:20,225
[Audience laughter]

120
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,917
I'm sorry Aunt Vivian, I gotta
give this one to Donnie.

121
00:04:23,539 --> 00:04:24,367
Case closed.

122
00:04:24,402 --> 00:04:26,542
[Sighs] Stop saying case closed!

123
00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:29,579
- I wanna try.
- Oh, well step on up, little
girl.

124
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:34,239
Why don't you debate whether or
not it's okay for you to

125
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,931
just come on in here everyday
and steal food?

126
00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:38,416
I'll start.

127
00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:41,211
The Stallworths have an
abundance of food in their
refrigerator,

128
00:04:41,246 --> 00:04:44,560
and if it does not get eaten
then it will go to waste. And
wasting food

129
00:04:44,594 --> 00:04:45,388
is dumb.

130
00:04:45,423 --> 00:04:46,803
Your mama's dumb!

131
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:47,908
Whoo!
- Hey,

132
00:04:47,942 --> 00:04:49,737
- don't come for my mama.
- Case closed!

133
00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:52,740
My mama's a gorgeous woman. How
dare you disrespect her!

134
00:04:52,775 --> 00:04:55,364
[Instrumental Music]

135
00:04:55,398 --> 00:04:58,746
Tony, stop eating chips. We're
about to have dinner.

136
00:04:59,022 --> 00:05:00,852
Lisa, I am a grown-ass man.

137
00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:03,579
If I want a pre-dinner snack,
I'm gonna have me a pre-dinner
snack.

138
00:05:03,613 --> 00:05:05,339
Well if you want your after
dinner dessert,

139
00:05:05,374 --> 00:05:07,134
you might want to come help me
set this table.

140
00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:08,687
- Yes, dear.
- Okay.

141
00:05:09,378 --> 00:05:11,759
Oah, there's my boy.

142
00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:15,211
One of the last times I'll see
his little cute face before he
goes off to

143
00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:16,212
college.

144
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,904
Mom, can we not do this every
single time?

145
00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:21,113
I'm going to college not war.

146
00:05:21,148 --> 00:05:22,563
[Audience laughter]
Alright,

147
00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:23,909
you mess up on them grades,
you're gonna be spending tuition
money

148
00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:25,808
on hospital bills.

149
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,119
Stop it, Tony!

150
00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:29,190
Honey, were you able to connect
with your new roommate?

151
00:05:29,225 --> 00:05:31,365
Yeah, I got connected with him
on social media.

152
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,022
He seems cool.

153
00:05:33,056 --> 00:05:35,990
I think him and his mom are
coming over so I can actually
meet him in person.

154
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:37,889
Oh good. I'd love to meet his
mother.

155
00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:40,029
Oh forget his mother. I want to
meet the boy.

156
00:05:40,063 --> 00:05:43,308
Make sure our son ain't bunkin'
with a, a gangbanger or
somethin'.

157
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:47,554
Come on, dad. A gangbanger goin'
to college?

158
00:05:47,588 --> 00:05:49,694
They can't learn everything on
the streets.

159
00:05:49,728 --> 00:05:52,317
Stringer Bell took college
classes on The Wire.

160
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,044
What if he's a drug dealer or a
thief or somethin' like that?

161
00:05:55,078 --> 00:05:58,116
- I read about college students
buyin' and sellin' pills.
- Mm.

162
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,945
Then maybe I can get a discount.

163
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:02,672
- Hey.
- Up ey ah pssh.

164
00:06:02,707 --> 00:06:04,260
I'm just joking.

165
00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:05,399
[Knocking]
Mm hm.

166
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:08,816
Get a buy one, get one free
ass whoopin'. Keep it up.

167
00:06:10,784 --> 00:06:13,614
You must be...white people.

168
00:06:14,270 --> 00:06:15,340
You lost?

169
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,445
[Instrumental Music]

170
00:06:16,479 --> 00:06:18,654
[Instrumental Music]

171
00:06:18,688 --> 00:06:20,000
You lost?

172
00:06:20,034 --> 00:06:21,001
[Whispering] Dad.

173
00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:23,313
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, come on in.
Come on in.

174
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:24,970
[Chuckling] It's just...

175
00:06:25,005 --> 00:06:28,457
that is my fault. I did not mean
to blurt out that you were
white.

176
00:06:28,802 --> 00:06:31,460
It's alright. It's not a
secret to us.

177
00:06:31,494 --> 00:06:32,461
What's up?

178
00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:34,324
- Jerome.
- Hey, yeah. You must be Devin.

179
00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:36,154
And I'm Tony and this is
my wife Lisa.

180
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,638
Hi, so nice to meet you both.

181
00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:38,881
Nice to meet you too.

182
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,400
I'm Aretha.

183
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,472
Hm. Hey, can we just quickly
address the white elephant in
the room?

184
00:06:43,506 --> 00:06:44,990
- Ah I think that my wife and
I...

185
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:48,166
Ooh Tony don't drag me into
whatever it is you're about to
say.

186
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,514
I think that Iwas assuming that
you guys were black

187
00:06:51,549 --> 00:06:53,792
because your names are Jerome
and Aretha.

188
00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:57,071
I named him after Jerome
Robbins, who wrote West Side
Story.

189
00:06:57,106 --> 00:06:59,384
Okay, okay. And Aretha?

190
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,559
Well my mother had a thing for
the queen of soul.

191
00:07:01,593 --> 00:07:04,562
Ah, i can R E S P E C T that.

192
00:07:04,596 --> 00:07:08,531
Okay Tony, can you stop grilling
our guests about their names,
please?

193
00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:11,534
Why don't you come on in. Grab a
seat. Let me get you a drink.

194
00:07:11,569 --> 00:07:13,398
Wow, this place is great.

195
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,436
Aw, thanks Jerome. You're so
polite.

196
00:07:16,953 --> 00:07:19,439
- Can I ask just one more
question?
- Dad!

197
00:07:19,749 --> 00:07:22,269
- Please stop.
- Well it's just that this is an
historically black

198
00:07:22,303 --> 00:07:24,478
- college and...
- Why would they let a white kid
in?

199
00:07:24,513 --> 00:07:27,032
Well I wasn't gonna phrase it
exactly like that, but yes.

200
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:28,586
[Audience laughter]

201
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:32,106
I applied to a lot of colleges
and this is one of the ones that
accepted me.

202
00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:34,937
He worked so hard on his
application and his essays.

203
00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:37,111
I mean he even got a full
scholarship.

204
00:07:37,146 --> 00:07:38,492
Full scholarship!

205
00:07:38,527 --> 00:07:41,081
- Yeah. I got the Malcolm X
Memorial Fund.
- Aw.

206
00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:43,532
The Malcolm X Memorial Fund.

207
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:44,878
[Squealing] Did you hear
that, Lisa?

208
00:07:44,912 --> 00:07:46,569
We payin' for a full tuition,

209
00:07:46,604 --> 00:07:48,433
and Jerome got the Malcolm X
Memorial Fund.

210
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,745
Ah.

211
00:07:49,779 --> 00:07:52,368
[Audience laughter]
Hm. Must have been one amazing
essay.

212
00:07:53,162 --> 00:07:55,578
Well, you gotta get in by any
means necessary.

213
00:07:55,854 --> 00:07:57,649
[Chuckling]

214
00:07:57,684 --> 00:07:59,548
Well you think there's any
chance that they saw the name

215
00:07:59,582 --> 00:08:02,516
Jerome Washington on the essay
and just assumed he was a
brother?

216
00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:04,518
Up nope, just me. No brothers or
anything.

217
00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,175
No. [Chuckling]
That's cute.

218
00:08:06,209 --> 00:08:07,625
No, no. I mean like a, a

219
00:08:07,659 --> 00:08:10,835
Well actually he had an
interview in person, so they
know he's white.

220
00:08:10,869 --> 00:08:15,356
Dad, you know that HBCU's aren't
only for black people?

221
00:08:15,391 --> 00:08:17,220
They accept all nationalities.

222
00:08:17,255 --> 00:08:18,498
- Yeah but Malcolm X didn't even
like...

223
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:21,501
Ah ah, that was before his trip
to Mecca.

224
00:08:21,742 --> 00:08:23,537
- Good point.
- Yep.

225
00:08:23,572 --> 00:08:27,023
[Instrumental Music]

226
00:08:27,058 --> 00:08:29,543
Alright Lisa, what do you really
think about Devin's roommate?

227
00:08:29,578 --> 00:08:32,546
Oh I like him. He's
well-mannered. Great student.

228
00:08:32,581 --> 00:08:33,927
White.

229
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:36,688
So what? Devin has white
friends.

230
00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:38,725
I have no problem with the boy
being white.

231
00:08:38,759 --> 00:08:41,728
but it's an HBCU not HWCU.

232
00:08:41,762 --> 00:08:42,970
[Audience laughter]

233
00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:45,076
But I always had the dream of
Devin going off to college

234
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,733
and gettin' the black
experience.

235
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:49,736
Yeah, and Martin Luther King
always had the dream
that little white boys

236
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:52,393
and little black boys could go
to school together.

237
00:08:52,428 --> 00:08:54,672
Okay Lisa, I think you're
puttin' the remix on Dr. King's
speech.

238
00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:57,916
- You sound more like Don King.
- [Laughter] Whatever.

239
00:08:57,951 --> 00:09:01,402
He will get plenty of the black
experience no matter who his
roommate is.

240
00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:04,544
Okay, but don't you think it's
weird that Jerome is getting a
scholarship?

241
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:07,270
He's taking away money from some
black kid, like Devin.

242
00:09:07,305 --> 00:09:09,825
Well, did Devin apply for any
scholarships?

243
00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,516
Devin can't even spell
scholarship.

244
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,586
Exactly.

245
00:09:12,621 --> 00:09:13,898
[Audience laughter]

246
00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:16,590
But the Malcolm X Memorial Fund?

247
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:20,939
Malcolm X did say that education
is the passport to the future.

248
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:24,322
Yeah he also said he's for truth
no matter who tells it.

249
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:27,981
Truth is, somethin' just ain't
sittin' quite white with me.

250
00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:29,776
[Audience laughter]

251
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:33,124
[Instrumental Music]

252
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:36,334
I don't get what you need help
with. We argue all the time and
you

253
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,611
always win.

254
00:09:37,646 --> 00:09:40,303
But now I'm dealing with smart
people, so just pick a topic

255
00:09:40,338 --> 00:09:41,615
and practice with me.

256
00:09:41,650 --> 00:09:43,444
Okay.

257
00:09:43,479 --> 00:09:46,378
So should cellphones be banned
from schools?

258
00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:48,967
I believe that cellphones should
not be banned in schools.

259
00:09:49,002 --> 00:09:52,177
Although it may be beneficial to
have them put away during class
time,

260
00:09:52,212 --> 00:09:54,110
cell phones have many benefits.

261
00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:57,355
ranging from social, to
practical, to educational.

262
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,288
Oka,y a I can agree with that.

263
00:09:59,322 --> 00:10:02,256
You're not supposed to agree
with that. You're supposed to
debate me.

264
00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:05,777
Okay, so you want me to argue
that cellphones should be banned
in schools?

265
00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:07,986
Hell no.

266
00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:10,748
How else am I supposed to order
Kung Pao chicken in History.

267
00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:13,267
You know History made me hungry.

268
00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:16,374
Okay, I think you might be
missing the point of debate.

269
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:19,135
Okay, okay, I'll pick another
one.

270
00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:22,138
Oh, this one's easy.

271
00:10:22,173 --> 00:10:24,554
What's the best pizza topping?

272
00:10:24,589 --> 00:10:25,901
Pepperoni.

273
00:10:25,935 --> 00:10:30,595
It's salty, savory, and it's
great on pizza! Case closed.

274
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,253
You're not supposed to say case
closed in a debate.

275
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,221
Pepperoni. It's the best topping
on pizza.

276
00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:38,258
Hands down.

277
00:10:38,292 --> 00:10:40,087
Maybe for you but not for
everyone.

278
00:10:40,122 --> 00:10:43,401
If you think about the word
best, the question is best for
whom?

279
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:46,784
And pepperoni is definitely not
the best for vegetarians.

280
00:10:46,818 --> 00:10:49,441
However, what I think is the
best topping

281
00:10:49,476 --> 00:10:52,375
for all people is so obviously
the best

282
00:10:52,410 --> 00:10:54,170
that we take for granted.

283
00:10:54,205 --> 00:10:56,448
- Hm.
- And what I'm talking about is
cheese.

284
00:10:56,483 --> 00:10:58,761
Uhm, dang. You're right.

285
00:10:58,796 --> 00:10:59,969
Cheese is the best pizza
topping.

286
00:11:00,004 --> 00:11:01,695
You're not supposed to agree
with me!

287
00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:03,904
You're just too convincing.

288
00:11:03,939 --> 00:11:05,837
Hey Devin, can we talk to you
for a minute?

289
00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:07,183
I'm helpin' Ebony.

290
00:11:07,218 --> 00:11:08,495
Ah, you weren't much help.

291
00:11:08,529 --> 00:11:09,841
He's all yours.

292
00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:11,740
What's up, dad?

293
00:11:11,774 --> 00:11:14,466
We just wanna talk to you about
your new roommate.

294
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:15,951
What about Jerome?

295
00:11:15,985 --> 00:11:17,435
Well we just wanna know what you
really think of him.

296
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,575
I mean like, like really really.

297
00:11:19,609 --> 00:11:21,922
I think he's really really cool.

298
00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:23,717
Really?

299
00:11:24,062 --> 00:11:26,340
I mean I think he's really cool
too. Ah Lisa, what do you think?

300
00:11:26,375 --> 00:11:28,377
Uh uh. Don't get me in this.

301
00:11:28,411 --> 00:11:30,724
This is your boat to row, Sir.

302
00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:33,037
Lisa, what happened to
presenting a united front?

303
00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:35,522
Okay, why are we talking about
Jerome?

304
00:11:35,556 --> 00:11:37,282
I just want to make sure that
you two click.

305
00:11:37,317 --> 00:11:39,837
You know I think college is all
about relationships.

306
00:11:39,871 --> 00:11:41,631
Okay dad, what's this really
about?

307
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:43,288
Are you trippin' off the fact
that he's white?

308
00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:46,291
Yeah, Tony. Are you trippin' off
the fact that he's white?

309
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:47,637
That's cold, Lisa.

310
00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:49,570
Look, I have no problem with the
boy being white.

311
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:51,745
I just think that some students
may have a problem

312
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:55,404
with him being white and you
know, also having the Malcolm X
scholarship.

313
00:11:55,438 --> 00:11:56,750
[Audience laughter]

314
00:11:56,785 --> 00:12:00,271
So should he have been awarded
the Rachel Dolezal scholarship?

315
00:12:00,996 --> 00:12:02,583
I'm being serious.

316
00:12:02,618 --> 00:12:06,208
I'm being serious too Dad. I
don't see what the problem is.

317
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:09,970
Look, I have no problem with
anybody's ethnicity. I think
everyone is created equal.

318
00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:12,041
Look honey, I think what your
dad is trying to say is he

319
00:12:12,076 --> 00:12:15,044
doesn't want you to be ridiculed
when you go off to school.

320
00:12:15,079 --> 00:12:16,563
I don't get it.

321
00:12:16,597 --> 00:12:17,978
Look, as I'm sure you know,

322
00:12:18,013 --> 00:12:20,809
kids can be cruel and I just
don't want my son

323
00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:25,606
gettin' sweated for roomin' with
the white recipient of the
Malcolm X scholarship.

324
00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:28,575
Dad, I don't have a problem with
Jerome getting the scholarship.

325
00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:31,302
Apparently he needed it so he
applied for it.

326
00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:34,339
And if anyone else has a problem
with it, maybe they're racist.

327
00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:35,513
[Audience gasps]

328
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,791
What you mean about me like that
for? I am not racist.

329
00:12:37,826 --> 00:12:39,034
Hm.

330
00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:41,761
Lisa, am I racist?

331
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,107
Hm.

332
00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:44,591
[Audience laughter]

333
00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:46,006
[Instrumental Music]

334
00:12:46,282 --> 00:12:47,421
[Drumming]

335
00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:49,630
[Instrumental Music]

336
00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:52,185
Hey Tony, you want a beer? My
treat, man.

337
00:12:52,219 --> 00:12:54,601
[Audience laughter]

338
00:12:54,635 --> 00:12:56,430
Did you get those out of my
refrigerator?

339
00:12:56,465 --> 00:12:57,811
Yep.

340
00:12:57,846 --> 00:13:00,227
You need to throw that chunky
milk out, Tone.

341
00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:04,611
Real thick. I poured me a glass
earlier. It turned into grits.

342
00:13:05,715 --> 00:13:08,132
Let me ask you a question. Give
me your honest opinion.

343
00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:10,893
Do you think white kids should
be allowed to go to HBCU's?

344
00:13:10,928 --> 00:13:12,757
Hell nah.

345
00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:15,277
Wait, what's a HBCU?

346
00:13:15,311 --> 00:13:16,554
[Audience laughter]

347
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,867
Historically black college,
stupid.

348
00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:20,661
HBCS.

349
00:13:20,938 --> 00:13:22,146
What are you talking about?

350
00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:26,150
You said Historically Black
College stupid. That's HBCS.

351
00:13:26,495 --> 00:13:30,326
Look dumbass, should white kids
be allowed to go to black
schools?

352
00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:33,295
For what? Don't they have enough
of they own already?

353
00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:35,642
Okay, so you with me on this.
You damn right.

354
00:13:35,676 --> 00:13:36,954
Hm.

355
00:13:36,988 --> 00:13:39,197
I don't think white kids should
be able to go to college at all.

356
00:13:39,232 --> 00:13:42,028
Oh whoa, whoa. [Chuckles] That's
bit much now.

357
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:43,788
What are you talkin' about? They
had their time.

358
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,204
They should get another leg up
in society?

359
00:13:46,239 --> 00:13:47,067
Tss.

360
00:13:47,102 --> 00:13:48,758
Donnie that's just reverse
racism.

361
00:13:48,793 --> 00:13:53,315
It is impossible for us to be
racist against white people,
okay?

362
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:55,973
Brother, we have been
systematically oppressed by the
man

363
00:13:56,007 --> 00:13:57,526
for far too long, okay?

364
00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,943
It is time that we as a people
come together.

365
00:14:00,978 --> 00:14:03,497
Alright? We have been swept
under the rug,

366
00:14:03,532 --> 00:14:08,192
run amuck, led astray, and now
the man wants to infiltrate our
schools.

367
00:14:08,226 --> 00:14:10,435
Can't we have nothin'?

368
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,922
To this brother, I say hell no.

369
00:14:14,784 --> 00:14:16,338
Whatever Huey P. Doofus.

370
00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:20,307
Listen, I'm tryin' to talk about
Devin's roommate

371
00:14:20,342 --> 00:14:23,552
who happens to be a white kid
that's tryin' to get a higher
education

372
00:14:23,586 --> 00:14:25,519
at an HBCU.

373
00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:27,694
Maybe I'm in the wrong about all
this.

374
00:14:27,728 --> 00:14:29,247
Whose side are you on Tony?

375
00:14:29,282 --> 00:14:31,732
Stand your ground, man. Because
I'm on your side.

376
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,838
And if you not on your side,
that means you're not on my
side.

377
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,221
You're not on my side, I need to
know why you ain't got my back?

378
00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:38,878
Hey shut up and hand me a beer.

379
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,465
[Audience laughter]

380
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:43,054
You coulda just leaned forwards
and done the same thing I'm
doin' right now.

381
00:14:43,089 --> 00:14:44,504
[Audience laughter]

382
00:14:44,538 --> 00:14:47,369
Look, you can talk to me about
this for hours and it can go
nowhere.

383
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:50,510
But if this is about you and
your son, maybe you should just
debate him.

384
00:14:50,544 --> 00:14:51,787
We've already argued about it.

385
00:14:51,821 --> 00:14:54,928
Not argued, debate, debate. Like
what your daughter's doing.

386
00:14:54,963 --> 00:14:57,517
If you're right, cool. If you're
not,

387
00:14:57,551 --> 00:14:59,691
he'll respect you cause at least
you heard him out.

388
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:02,349
Hm. That's actually not a bad
idea.

389
00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:05,801
Now how your dumb ass not gonna
know what a HBCU is?

390
00:15:05,835 --> 00:15:10,116
I'm more concerned that Devin
knows about the BBCG's at the
HBCU.

391
00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:11,013
The what?

392
00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:12,532
And they call me the dumb one.

393
00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:15,811
BBCG's. The big booty college
girls!

394
00:15:15,845 --> 00:15:17,986
Can't have a successful college
without one.

395
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:20,126
[Audience laughter]

396
00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:23,992
Welcome to the Stallworth family
mock debate.

397
00:15:24,026 --> 00:15:27,478
Tonight we will be debating
whether or not white students

398
00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:29,963
should be allowed to attend
HBCU's.

399
00:15:29,998 --> 00:15:32,276
Whether they should be allowed
to get scholarships,

400
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:35,796
and whether they should be
allowed to room with Devin.

401
00:15:35,831 --> 00:15:39,559
On our pro side we have Devin,
Ebony and Lisa.

402
00:15:39,593 --> 00:15:41,112
- You know. Yes.
- Ah hah. ha ha ha.

403
00:15:41,147 --> 00:15:43,252
And on the con we have

404
00:15:43,597 --> 00:15:45,565
- Donnie and Tony
[Booing]

405
00:15:45,599 --> 00:15:48,016
[Audience laughter]

406
00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:51,260
I'd also like to point out that
it's interesting that as

407
00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:54,919
the only caucasian person in the
room, I don't get a say in this.

408
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,680
Don't you think white people
have had their voices heard
enough?

409
00:15:58,095 --> 00:15:59,820
Fair enough. Okay, I'll stick to
moderating.

410
00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:00,649
[Audience laughter]

411
00:16:00,683 --> 00:16:03,341
Um, opening statements, huh?

412
00:16:03,652 --> 00:16:07,104
I mean, I feel as if this is an
open and shut case.

413
00:16:07,138 --> 00:16:10,141
Hah. Your mama's an open and
shut case.

414
00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:11,798
Excuse me, Donnie.

415
00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:14,180
Ah I'm, I'm sorry Lisa.

416
00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:18,598
As I was saying, open and shut
case.

417
00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:21,808
If there were any college that
excluded black students,

418
00:16:21,842 --> 00:16:23,706
we'd be in the streets
protesting.

419
00:16:23,741 --> 00:16:27,434
Therefore, HBCU's shouldn't
exclude any race.

420
00:16:27,469 --> 00:16:29,574
Yeah but you're missing a
historical context.

421
00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:33,026
HBCU's exist solely because
colleges weren't letting in
black students.

422
00:16:33,061 --> 00:16:36,236
Yeah but their goal was never
segregation. It was integration.

423
00:16:36,271 --> 00:16:39,515
Tss. Your mama's goal was
integration with me.

424
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:41,172
[Audience laughter]

425
00:16:41,207 --> 00:16:42,967
Donnie, get out of my house.

426
00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:45,004
I'm on your side.

427
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,867
You're not helping.

428
00:16:46,902 --> 00:16:50,526
Tony, it sounds like you're
treating them the way they used
to treat us.

429
00:16:50,561 --> 00:16:54,427
Yeah, dad. And what's the harm
of white students going to black
schools?

430
00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:58,189
Aren't you glad that they're
interested in black culture and
black history?

431
00:16:58,224 --> 00:17:01,951
Well first of all Ebony, there's
more to black colleges than
black history class.

432
00:17:01,986 --> 00:17:05,610
Exactly. It's a regular college
with regular classes.

433
00:17:05,645 --> 00:17:07,923
It just happens to have
black roots.

434
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:11,271
Okay, fine. I will concede
that Jerome should be allowed
to go there.

435
00:17:11,306 --> 00:17:12,928
But what about the scholarship?

436
00:17:12,962 --> 00:17:16,104
Scholarship? Ain't Aretha rich
enough to pay for her own kid's
school?

437
00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:18,623
I, I believe we're talking
about a different Aretha.

438
00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:21,661
I believe you should stick to
moderating and don't undercut my
argument.

439
00:17:22,248 --> 00:17:23,456
[Doorbell rings]

440
00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:26,252
I felt like someone was missing
from this debate,

441
00:17:26,286 --> 00:17:28,357
so I texted him to come over.

442
00:17:30,428 --> 00:17:31,533
- Hey Devin.
- Wow.
- Oh.

443
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,259
Just in time. We were just
talking about you.

444
00:17:33,293 --> 00:17:35,123
Hey, we're just in the middle of
um

445
00:17:35,157 --> 00:17:38,988
debating whether or not you
should be able to receive a
higher education.

446
00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:40,921
I think I would've put it a
little more delicately, Viv.

447
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:42,647
[Audience laughter]

448
00:17:42,682 --> 00:17:43,786
Look,

449
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,443
I get it.

450
00:17:45,478 --> 00:17:48,791
But the truth of the matter is,
I grew up dirt poor.

451
00:17:48,826 --> 00:17:52,001
And I worked really hard in
school every day of my life.

452
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:55,660
I applied to a lot of colleges
and I applied for a lot of
scholarships.

453
00:17:55,695 --> 00:17:57,835
But this was the best choice for
me.

454
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,871
They gave me the money and they
have one of the best biology

455
00:17:59,906 --> 00:18:01,942
departments in the country.

456
00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:07,465
I'm looking forward to the HBCU
experience, and I'm excited to
be your son's roommate.

457
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,089
But I do respect your differing
opinion.

458
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,056
As Malcolm X once said,

459
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,921
I have more respect for a man
who lets me know where he

460
00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:16,681
stands even if he's wrong.

461
00:18:16,716 --> 00:18:20,478
Than the one who comes up like
an angel and is nothing but a
devil.

462
00:18:20,513 --> 00:18:21,997
Aawww.

463
00:18:22,031 --> 00:18:23,274
Resolved.

464
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:25,552
Man,

465
00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:27,934
1995 Matt Damon is onto
something.

466
00:18:27,968 --> 00:18:29,936
Yeah.

467
00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:31,110
A you make a strong case.

468
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:34,078
Yeah Tony, and may I a make
another point?

469
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:38,324
A Devin, can you quote anything
Malcolm X said?

470
00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:40,947
Malcolm X.

471
00:18:41,603 --> 00:18:43,156
[Audience laughter]

472
00:18:43,191 --> 00:18:46,194
Isn't that the one that ran the
school that Wolverine and
Cyclones went to?

473
00:18:46,884 --> 00:18:48,610
I knew it!

474
00:18:48,644 --> 00:18:50,577
- Yeah, cause...
- I see your point, Lisa.

475
00:18:50,612 --> 00:18:51,820
[Audience laughter]

476
00:18:51,854 --> 00:18:54,512
Jerome, it's an honor to have
you as my son's roommate.

477
00:18:54,547 --> 00:18:55,513
Thank you.

478
00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:56,825
[Instrumental Music]

479
00:18:57,446 --> 00:19:02,382
[Instrumental Music]

480
00:19:02,831 --> 00:19:05,903
Oh wow! This is really
happening.

481
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:08,768
My baby boy is lea, leaving!

482
00:19:08,802 --> 00:19:12,012
Mom, please don't
start crying now.

483
00:19:12,047 --> 00:19:15,982
We got like 40 minutes to the
airport, and I can't do no 40
minutes of crying.

484
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,433
I'm gonna be alright.

485
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:20,366
You should be worried about your
father here.

486
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,886
- What?
- No. Look I'm a man. Men don't
cry.

487
00:19:23,921 --> 00:19:26,199
Then why you got them dark
shades on?

488
00:19:26,234 --> 00:19:27,821
These lights are making my eyes
sweat.

489
00:19:27,856 --> 00:19:29,306
[Audience laughter]

490
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:30,583
[Footsteps]

491
00:19:30,617 --> 00:19:34,207
I can't believe you guys are
getting so emotional about this.

492
00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:36,830
Devin's gonna flunk and be
back in this house three
weeks from now.

493
00:19:36,865 --> 00:19:38,556
Okay, Ebony. Really?

494
00:19:38,591 --> 00:19:41,870
do you want those to be your
last words to your brother?

495
00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:43,596
Last words?

496
00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:47,531
I'm not going to the electric
chair, mom. I'm going to
college.

497
00:19:47,565 --> 00:19:50,361
- Honey, please just...
- It's gonna be okay.

498
00:19:50,396 --> 00:19:54,400
Ah, I'm so glad y'all didn't
leave. You're still here. Look,

499
00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:57,230
There's so much I didn't teach
you. I didn't teach you how to
tie a tie,

500
00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:59,232
I didn't teach you how to
ride a bike,

501
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:00,613
I didn't even get a chance to
teach you...

502
00:20:00,647 --> 00:20:03,236
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa man.
I am his daddy. Okay, we did
all that.

503
00:20:03,271 --> 00:20:05,238
Besides, I taught you all
those things.

504
00:20:05,273 --> 00:20:06,860
[Audience laughter]

505
00:20:06,895 --> 00:20:09,863
And I'm grateful, but I didn't
get a chance to teach him all
the uncle stuff.

506
00:20:09,898 --> 00:20:12,072
Like how to unlearn everything
your parents taught you.

507
00:20:12,107 --> 00:20:13,384
I gotta teach you how
to make

508
00:20:13,419 --> 00:20:14,558
sure you talk to
girls properly.

509
00:20:14,592 --> 00:20:15,869
I got to make sure I teach you

510
00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:17,733
how to ride a dirt bike without
a license.

511
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,632
I never got a chance to teach
you how to siphon gas.

512
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:21,910
Also, I got to teach you be down
in college, man.

513
00:20:21,944 --> 00:20:22,738
You can get you a little

514
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:24,050
[Door closes]
side hustle going.

515
00:20:24,084 --> 00:20:25,672
[Audience laughter]

516
00:20:25,707 --> 00:20:27,260
Well joke's on y'all.

517
00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:28,606
I smell food.

518
00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:36,821
[Instrumental Music]